Navigating The Holidays
By CJ Michalec.
“Ahh…the holidays! Time off to spend with family, cherished traditions, and celebration.”
Right? Well… maybe not. Or maybe it’s only part of the story.
In reality, the holidays can bring discomfort for many of us. Strained family relationships, political tension, grief, and pressure around socializing, eating, and/or drinking. How do we navigate a season that may feel different than the romanticized, capitalist version we are sold?
When chronic holiday stress sets in, you may notice new or familiar responses to stress:
Irritability
Overwhelm
Body tension
Trouble sleeping
Difficulty focusing
Physical illness (stomachaches, cold/flu, etc.)
Low motivation
Increased substance use
Racing thoughts
Before we can respond to any of these, we have to notice them. As you read this right now, do you have a moment? Try this:
Sit comfortably, supported. Take a few deep breaths.
Now, let your breathing return to normal.
How does your breath feel as it enters your nose, your airway, into your lungs? For the next 20 seconds, simply follow your breath as it naturally moves through you.
Now, bring your attention to your body. Your feet resting on the ground, your back resting on the seat. Is your spine straight or curved? Is your belly tight or relaxed? Notice your jaw, your shoulders, and any tension you may hold there. And again, your body moving with each breath.
You may notice thoughts that enter your mind, and that’s okay. Simply acknowledge they are there, and return to your body.
As you scan from your toes to your head, notice any sensations. Warm or cold, open or restricted, lethargic or energized? Feel these sensations and let them exist, for now.
When you are ready, return to your surroundings by scanning what is around you.
The goal of mindfulness practices like this one is not to settle. The goal is simply to notice. And, maybe you noticed something uncomfortable - tension, restriction, or pain - and you have a choice about how to respond to it.
Self-compassionate wellness for the holiday season (and every season):
Emotional wellness → Notice & validate your feelings, disclose to a safe person
Environmental wellness → Surround yourself with people and decor that bring YOU joy
Intellectual wellness → Create, cook, read, attend an educational event, volunteer
Physical wellness → Rest, stretch, hydrate, yell, eat warm food, find the sun, go for a walk, play, sing, have sex
Social wellness → Hang with chosen family, call a friend, talk to your plants, attend a community event, set boundaries
Spiritual wellness → Celebrate and honor your beliefs, re-visit your values, reflect
It’s true that the holidays can be difficult for so many reasons, and we don’t have to just get through it. By practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, we may just gift ourselves balanced reassurance: that we can be present and tend to discomfort while also experiencing the joy that we want, need, and deserve.
Extra reminders & tips!
Let yourself slow down - it’s natural!
You are in control of how you show up - set intentions for yourself beforehand
You can set expectations and boundaries
It’s okay to step away, or leave early
Gratitude reduces stress and worry
Your gift is your authenticity & that is enough
At Arches, we are keenly aware of the grief and discomfort that the holidays can bring. As queer, trans, and BIPOC therapists, we also know that the personal is political - this is part of our lived realities. While we are dedicated to creating community space for collective healing, we recognize the importance of individual space for healing & growth. You do not have to navigate your pain alone. If you need support, inquire here to find out how we can help.
